Freedom by not knowing

I have found freedom the hard way. This way is by not doing OCD to the fullest.

OCD is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder where a person gets a scary thought and they have to check and make sure something bad isn't going to happen. It helps feel safer, but it takes time and energy.

I am a functioning OCDer. What I mean is it doesn't stop me from living, but I do the checks quickly and keep going. If I don't feel right after doing the ritual I have to keep moving and doing what I need to do. This causes great anxiety like I am going to lose it or die. After the anxiety wears down, there is a big surge of freedom and peace of mind.

I don't do this on purpose, but it just happens. I am not strong enough to just keep from doing rituals (checks) like ritual exposure with a therapist. Usually mine peace happens as I don't be perfect throughout my day.

Fellow OCDers might know how it feels. It is not a comfortable feel, but after letting the anxeity go down, it feels good. The question is why don't I let the anxiety die down before ever doing the initial ritual. That comes with time and strength.

I hope other people with OCD can let the rituals go and stop with the thought. I hope you have all the luck. If you don't have OCD, I hope someone you know that has it all the luck.


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